It’s senior year of high school and you can not wait to celebrate your senior! You are ready to do “all the senior things” you have seen or possibly done with your older kids.
Then you realize, you have a reluctant celebrator. (whomp, whomp)
Whether your kid is ready to move on from a terrible high school experience, is super shy, or simply doesn’t see the “big deal” of senior year, you will not have the high school senior year experience you were envisioning.
We just graduated our reluctant senior, and I have thoughts.
Our senior didn’t think that graduating was a big deal and doesn’t like to be in the spotlight.
This is the exact opposite experience we had with our oldest. Our oldest happily went along with every traditional senior activity available AND more. Senior portrait session, parties, he willingly attended every event AND enjoyed them. Put that kid in the spotlight.
When I excitedly approached my youngest to start his senior year event planning, he told me that he didn’t want to do anything.
I then informed him that I don’t even know what that means.
Nothing? You don’t want to do anything?!
As a retired event planner, my brain could not comprehend the concept.
He did not want a party or to go out to a fancy dinner on the day of graduation. No senior portrait sessions, and the senior sign from school could only go out for a limited time.
I had an exciting challenge ahead of me.
How to commemorate an important event to my seniors’ satisfaction. I wanted to make him feel loved and important within his comfort zone.
I sat down on my own and looked at the upcoming senior events.
I picked my ONE “must-attend” event.
It was the only event that I was still on the volunteer committee for. It is called the Senior Clapout in our area. The graduating kids come back to their elementary school and walk the halls wearing their cap n’ gown while the current students line the hallways and cheer for them. It makes even the most reluctant celebrator crack a smile. The kids from our elementary school funnel into about four high schools and it’s always fun to see them all grown up. We even have retired teachers come back to see everyone. It is a cry fest in the best possible way.
I let everything else go.
More importantly, I had to be okay with letting it all go.
At the end of the day, this is his experience, and my intention for attending “all the things” was to make his year the best it could be. If making his experience top-tier means NOT participating, well, so be it.
Just because there is a list of events and opportunities doesn’t mean that you have to do them or that you will enjoy doing them.
He ended up attending all of the school-sponsored senior events.
I got a cute video of him walking past all of the schools he attended in his cap n’ gown instead of a senior portrait session.
Then graduation day came.
We had family coming into town. We had to do “something”. The key was figuring out the right balance for everyone involved.
First up: We had to feed the people staying with us.
We ordered meals to eat at home and had a cake. I decorated the mantle with his senior sign, balloons, and pictures from his childhood. Just enough to make it feel festive without going crazy. (Before writing this, I did check in with my graduate, and he said it was a good mix of decorations and attention without it being too much. So basically, a five-star review.)
I felt like I got to make him feel special without him feeling uncomfortable. The decorations and cake made me feel like I did “something”.
A few days after graduation, when things settled down, we had an immediate family dinner at home while the decorations were still up. We made his favorite meal and put what we would have spent on a fancy dinner into his Roth IRA at his request.
My grad was happy.
Which made me happy.
Your celebration may not look like what everyone else is doing. That is okay.
We had two completely different experiences with our two high school graduates, and they were both perfect for that kid.
As long as you go into senior year with the proper expectations, you and your senior should have a great time!
Happy senior year of high school! No matter what that looks like.
If you are reading this and have no idea where to start, grab my High School Senior Year Checklist and make it your own!
